Thoughts Upon Parting
by lazypadawan
Summary: Every honeymoon has to end, and Padmé is left alone with her memories after Anakin leaves her.  Written in 2002-03.


**Thoughts Upon Parting**

They shared one last kiss just before he started up the ramp of the consular ship. It was long and deep with a hint of desperation. Neither one knew when or if they'd see each other again.

Tears fell from Padmé's eyes for she did not want that moment to end any more than Anakin did. She wanted it to be like this forever. Slowly, reluctantly, their kiss ended. Padmé's swollen lips tingled. Anakin had practically devoured her in his passion.

"Don't cry, my lady," he whispered, gently brushing away her tears with his thumb. "You have to be strong for the both of us." Padmé noticed the moisture in his own eyes.

"No matter what happens, never forget that I love you," she said.

"I love you too," he replied. "I'll send you messages, holos, anything, whenever I can."

Padmé nodded. "I will too." They had already arranged for a private frequency by which to send encoded communications.

With that, Anakin gave Padmé a reassuring grin before pulling up the hood of his Jedi cloak over his head and walked up the ramp into the ship. Drizzle and fog shrouded Theed that morning. She stared mournfully at the ship that would take Anakin back to his life at the Jedi Temple. Before disappearing from her view, Anakin turned back to look at Padmé a final time. She could only stare back until she could not see him any longer. She waited until the ship lifted off and rose up into the overcast sky, leaving after the clouds obscured the vessel.

Padmé returned to the quarters she used when she was in the capital city. It was an official residence at her disposal, one of her perks for serving as queen. Generally she found such places without warmth, but it served its purpose in providing the secretly-wed couple a discreet place to stay as they returned from their honeymoon. She closed the door, threw aside her cloak, and collapsed into a chair with a deep sigh. The tears returned. This was the first time in several weeks she was alone, without Anakin. Already she felt an emptiness in her heart, one she had never noticed before her beloved had re-entered her life. Artoo, with Threepio behind him, trundled up to her and beeped a series of concerned hoots and whistles. "Mistress Padmé, Artoo wishes to know if you are all right?" the protocol droid, who Anakin left in her care, asked. A curious tone of concern was in his voice. Padmé supposed that Shmi Skywalker never bothered to wipe the droid's memory. She'd never wiped Artoo's memory either.

"I'm fine," Padmé said, wiping away her tears. "I just need to be alone for a while."

"Of course, Mistress Padmé," Threepio said, Artoo beeping in agreement.

Padmé retreated into the flat's bedroom. The bed's sheets were still rumpled from that morning's lovemaking. She'd looked at him afterwards, memorizing the way his cheeks were flushed red and how the corners of his eyes drooped when he was physically spent. She'd already committed to memory every little quirk, every little gesture, the way he walked and spoke, how his moods shifted, absorbing them into her heart.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Padmé retreated into the idyllic memories of those days alone with her new husband. It was the beginning of summer, the most pleasant time of the year in the Lake Country. It was there they had fallen in love and where they returned to fully explore that love and commit the rest of their lives to it, fate be damned.

Soon after the brief, secret ceremony that bound them in marriage, they rode in a gondola on the lake as the sun faded from orange into dusk. They'd held each other tightly, exchanging kisses that promised what the night held in store for them. They returned to the retreat for an intimate evening meal alone. By Nubian custom, they shared only a single plate and drank wine from a single goblet. Padmé gazed at her new husband seductively as she fed him by hand from the plate. The meal consisted of foods long believed to be aphrodisiacs, but the way they looked at one another as they ate was fuel enough for passion. When the time came, Padme rose to her feet and held out her hand. Anakin grinned as he took it in his and allowed his wife to lead the way to their wedding suite. When they reached the threshold, he swept her up in his arms in one fluid motion and carried her inside. Ensconced in their chamber, they had been shy and a little nervous at first, but they were soon swept away by their long-repressed desires.

Plenty of their time together was spent exploring the newly-discovered joys of physical love. The springtime air and their almost complete seclusion lent itself to an especially amorous mood. The couple found all kinds of creative ways to keep their droids occupied to maximize their time alone.

But they also spent time exploring the Lake Country. They revisted places that now had meaning to them and she showed him new places they didn't explore before, like the hidden grottoes inside the waterfalls or the ancient mysterious ruins of a temple in the middle of a field.

One night, they walked barefoot along the lakeshore near their retreat, holding hands. The lapping water caressed their feet. Blithely, Padmé asked him if he wanted to swim with her.

"Now?"

"Of course now, silly. You can swim, can't you?"

"Well, yes..." he glanced at his prosthetic arm.

"Then why not?" She started adjusting the pins in her hair to hold up and back her natural curls.

"I don't like walking around in wet underclothes."

Padmé smiled impishly. "I thought you'd given up arguing with me." Before the Jedi could react, Padmé playfully pushed him into the water. But Anakin held fast to her wrist, pulling her down into the water with him.

Now completely soaked, Anakin and Padmé laughed in a way they hadn't since their meadow picnic. Beneath the moonlight the two young lovers splashed and played like children in the blood-warm lake.

Afterwards, they'd gone up one of the retreat's turrets. They sat on a balcony, looking up at the stars in the sky. "They're so beautiful and so peaceful from here," Padmé said. "It's hard to believe all that turmoil out there."

Anakin gently moved his left hand up and down Padmé's back, along her spine. She shivered at the sensation. With a faraway look in his eyes, he said, "When I was a boy I would look at the stars at night and dream of visiting all of them." He smiled wistfully. "I spent so much time wondering what else was out there."

Reaching over to play with the lock of hair at the back of his head, Padmé asked, "What have you found' out there'?"

He turned to fix her with a deep, intense gaze. "Something beyond my wildest hopes and dreams."

The enchanted images faded. Staring out the bedroom window at the unusual greyness blanketing Theed, it pained her that the happiness they'd experienced had to be kept to themselves. The only hope she could cling to was that there could be a day, perhaps when this war was over, she could bring him home to her family as her husband, that they would no longer fear the reprisals of the Council, that her reputation as a Senator wouldn't be at stake, that she could fulfill her fondest wish and bear his children.

But for now, there was only the gentle fall of rain outside.


End file.
